Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Sardonicism-the right medicine.

I came across this post because I was interested in stacking up my cabinet for the next time I am ill.

I found it on AnitaRoddick.com. She is the founder of The Body Shop. Who knew, while looking for items to keep me spiritually, mentally and physically sound, that a dose of laughter would be included. It came to her husband by way of an email. The friend who sent it, included this note:

“The source of this fine item, Ed Kane, was educated at Harvard, so he knows what "sardonic" means. I went to Princeton, and though I majored in English, I wasn't sure what "sardonic" meant. I thought it meant something like "sneering," but I wasn't sure. So, being unusually cautious in this instance, I looked up this word in my twenty-pound dictionary. It means "characterized by bitter or scornful derision; cynical; sneering." But the rest of the dictionary entry was more interesting, given the state of public discourse in our Republic today. Here's part of the etymology: "alluding to a Sardinian plant which when eaten was supposed to produce convulsive laughter ending in death." Well, look out. This is the Bush Jr. administration. Read it anyway. Avoid convulsive laughter.”

By the way, I'm glad to know Michael Moore is alive and well. One of my students who's about 22 years old, told me last week that he thought Michael Moore was dead. I'll be sure to share this with him and let him know that Michael Moore is still kicking. The post was titled, Dispatch: Michael Moore in His Most Sardonic Mode.



Dear Mr. President: Send Even MORE Troops (and you go, too!) ...from Michael Moore

Dear Mr President,

Thanks for your address to the nation. It's good to know you still want to talk to us after how we behaved in November.

Listen, can I be frank? Sending in 20,000 more troops just ain't gonna do the job. That will only bring the troop level back up to what it was last year. And we were losing the war last year! We've already had over a million troops serve some time in Iraq since 2003. Another few thousand is simply not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean... bringing those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this -- BRING DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!

You've got to show some courage, dude! You've got to win this one! C'mon, you got Saddam! You hung 'im high! I loved watching the video of that -- just like the old wild west! The bad guy wore black! The hangmen were as crazy as the hangee! Lynch mobs rule!!!

Look, I have to admit I feel very sorry for the predicament you're in. As Ricky Bobby said, "If you're not first, you're last." And you being humiliated in front of the whole world does NONE of us Americans any good.

Sir, listen to me. You have to send in MILLIONS of troops to Iraq, not thousands! The only way to lick this thing now is to flood Iraq with millions of us! I know that you're out of combat-ready soldiers -- so you have to look elsewhere! The only way you are going to beat a nation of 27 million -- Iraq -- is to send in at least 28 million! Here's how it would work:

The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay and rebuild the country. Simple.

Now, I know you're saying, where will I find 28 million Americans to go to Iraq? Here are some suggestions:

1. More than 62,000,000 Americans voted for you in the last election (the one that took place a year and half into a war we already knew we were losing). I am confident that at least a third of them would want to put their body where there vote was and sign up to volunteer. I know many of these people and, while we may disagree politically, I know that they don't believe someone else should have to go and fight their fight for them -- while they hide here in America.

2. Start a "Kill an Iraqi" Meet-Up group in cities across the country. I know this idea is so early-21st century, but I once went to a Lou Dobbs Meet-Up and, I swear, some of the best ideas happen after the third mojito. I'm sure you'll get another five million or so enlistees from this effort.

3. Send over all members of the mainstream media. After all, they were your collaborators in bringing us this war -- and many of them are already trained from having been "embedded!" If that doesn't bring the total to 28 million, then draft all viewers of the FOX News channel.

Mr. Bush, do not give up! Now is not the time to pull your punch! Don't be a weenie by sending in a few over-tired troops. Get your people behind you and YOU lead them in like a true commander in chief! Leave no conservative behind! Full speed ahead!

We promise to write. Go get 'em W!

Yours
Michael Moore

1 comment:

Melanoma in B&W said...

Dear Anna,

I am contacting you regarding a blog survey I am conducting. I am a PhD candidate in Mass Communication at Penn State, and my dissertation project consists of a survey that addresses bloggers’ perceived motivations for and effects of their blogging.

I am sending the survey to a number of bloggers, and I would like to invite you to participate in it as well. Participation should take no more than 10-15 minutes of your time and would appreciate it tremendously if you could follow the link below to fill out the survey:

http://www.personal.psu.edu/cds205/blogs/signin.htm


Thank you in advance,

Carmen