Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Sardonicism-the right medicine.

I came across this post because I was interested in stacking up my cabinet for the next time I am ill.

I found it on She is the founder of The Body Shop. Who knew, while looking for items to keep me spiritually, mentally and physically sound, that a dose of laughter would be included. It came to her husband by way of an email. The friend who sent it, included this note:

“The source of this fine item, Ed Kane, was educated at Harvard, so he knows what "sardonic" means. I went to Princeton, and though I majored in English, I wasn't sure what "sardonic" meant. I thought it meant something like "sneering," but I wasn't sure. So, being unusually cautious in this instance, I looked up this word in my twenty-pound dictionary. It means "characterized by bitter or scornful derision; cynical; sneering." But the rest of the dictionary entry was more interesting, given the state of public discourse in our Republic today. Here's part of the etymology: "alluding to a Sardinian plant which when eaten was supposed to produce convulsive laughter ending in death." Well, look out. This is the Bush Jr. administration. Read it anyway. Avoid convulsive laughter.”

By the way, I'm glad to know Michael Moore is alive and well. One of my students who's about 22 years old, told me last week that he thought Michael Moore was dead. I'll be sure to share this with him and let him know that Michael Moore is still kicking. The post was titled, Dispatch: Michael Moore in His Most Sardonic Mode.

Dear Mr. President: Send Even MORE Troops (and you go, too!) ...from Michael Moore

Dear Mr President,

Thanks for your address to the nation. It's good to know you still want to talk to us after how we behaved in November.

Listen, can I be frank? Sending in 20,000 more troops just ain't gonna do the job. That will only bring the troop level back up to what it was last year. And we were losing the war last year! We've already had over a million troops serve some time in Iraq since 2003. Another few thousand is simply not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean... bringing those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this -- BRING DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!

You've got to show some courage, dude! You've got to win this one! C'mon, you got Saddam! You hung 'im high! I loved watching the video of that -- just like the old wild west! The bad guy wore black! The hangmen were as crazy as the hangee! Lynch mobs rule!!!

Look, I have to admit I feel very sorry for the predicament you're in. As Ricky Bobby said, "If you're not first, you're last." And you being humiliated in front of the whole world does NONE of us Americans any good.

Sir, listen to me. You have to send in MILLIONS of troops to Iraq, not thousands! The only way to lick this thing now is to flood Iraq with millions of us! I know that you're out of combat-ready soldiers -- so you have to look elsewhere! The only way you are going to beat a nation of 27 million -- Iraq -- is to send in at least 28 million! Here's how it would work:

The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay and rebuild the country. Simple.

Now, I know you're saying, where will I find 28 million Americans to go to Iraq? Here are some suggestions:

1. More than 62,000,000 Americans voted for you in the last election (the one that took place a year and half into a war we already knew we were losing). I am confident that at least a third of them would want to put their body where there vote was and sign up to volunteer. I know many of these people and, while we may disagree politically, I know that they don't believe someone else should have to go and fight their fight for them -- while they hide here in America.

2. Start a "Kill an Iraqi" Meet-Up group in cities across the country. I know this idea is so early-21st century, but I once went to a Lou Dobbs Meet-Up and, I swear, some of the best ideas happen after the third mojito. I'm sure you'll get another five million or so enlistees from this effort.

3. Send over all members of the mainstream media. After all, they were your collaborators in bringing us this war -- and many of them are already trained from having been "embedded!" If that doesn't bring the total to 28 million, then draft all viewers of the FOX News channel.

Mr. Bush, do not give up! Now is not the time to pull your punch! Don't be a weenie by sending in a few over-tired troops. Get your people behind you and YOU lead them in like a true commander in chief! Leave no conservative behind! Full speed ahead!

We promise to write. Go get 'em W!

Michael Moore

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

What the %$@! Was the President Talking About?

Is it me, or was there just too much damn clapping during the President’s address? I don’t want to support any troops on the field or any troops that may be on their way, because enough is enough. It has been almost four years since this war started and I say this congress should not authorize any more money to this guy to do more damage.

And what is this about giving Americans the opportunity to put on the uniform to help serve? And why is this congress standing up and clapping about it? This is not what we voted for.

“Fighting AIDS in Africa, fighting poverty and disease. . . all lip service as far as I am concerned. 1.2 billion dollars to combat malaria? There is a genocide going on in Dafur. While the likely hood of getting malaria is high, it is more likely that one will not survive the massive raids of murder and group rapes of opposing ethnic groups.

Our “heroic kindness” is being stepped all over.

Why is Makimbe Mutombo being singled out in this address? Because he is from Africa? Because he is from the Congo? Because now he is in America, a United States citizen, another black person who has “made it” and an example of what the rest of us could do, if we just work real hard. How many of us have the opportunity to open a hospital? How many of us are living in communities in which loss of funding for the hospital is reason for possible closure ?

Why is the inventor of Baby Einstien attending this State of the Union Address? “Children have the right to live in a world that is safe”? What about the children of Iraq? What about the children of service men returning as less than human from the trauma of war? What kind of parenting can these returning parents ( if they return) provide? What about the children of the gulf coast, and the children of immigrants being separated from parents when they are being deported? And the Harlem guy who saved a fallen passenger in the train tracks? Sure he got lots of applause. What did his heroic act have to do with fighting in Iraq? Why would he be pro-war? How do we know he even talked to the president about his feelings about the war? All of these folks deserve our applause for their concern for fellow human beings. Why are we are being distracted by all this apple pie, clapping and smiling. Does the president think that by aligning himself with these humanitarians that he is somehow also a humanitarian. Give me a @#%^&*break! The state of our union is in a shambles.